Ignorance of the Educated

My Dearest Ustaazah,

Assalaamualikum, 

You don't know how much confusion there is in my mind. Education in the convents is such that it leaves one feeling very high and mighty, over analytical and judgmental, especially if one suffers from an inferiority complex, then the tendency is to take revenge from the whole world by acting superior and cracking the whip at the slightest deviation from perfection. It becomes a way of life to look down on people.

Surprisingly I was always appreciated for being the way I was until I got married and saw that I lacked in real talents of housekeeping and maintaining relationships. What good is Jane Austen in the kitchen and Thomas Hardy doesn't teach you how to put up with the family issues with husband and in-laws. Being highly idealistic and passionate doesn't help at all. Rather it just hurts and hurts. Unfortunately most of the girls and boys are just thrown into marriage without any real education. A load of clothes jewelry and other stuff is given with so much reverence and care as if its going to guide you along the way. I am amazed at the traditions and people acting upon them blindly.

 After 16 years of going in circles and finding myself as ignorant (and confused) as I had started, I was blessed with the gift of Quran, and what a gift. But when you enter the depths and find yourself in it you don't like the image at all. You want to change it. Do a makeover, … but How ?  It’s just like spring cleaning. You empty your closets to organize the contents and the first phase is purely chaotic. The house looks dirtier and things are scattered all over the place. It looks as if you have made a mistake and it had been better if left undisturbed. There is no proper cooking. So the children also get cranky and irritating. What a mess!! But if you really want clean closets you have to put up with the first phase. The problem is that we know how to put our things in order because we know what our needs are and we also know the value of things so we can decide whether to dispose them off or keep them and where to put them.

 When it comes to religion and rearranging our concepts of life and its priorities we require guidance and counseling. Unfortunately it’s not very easily available. So I appreciate it very much and am most grateful that you listen to all my woes and take time to answer me although you don't even know me. May ALLAH SWT give you the best reward in both the worlds (Ameen).

Lots of love

Sabeen

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